Q: How do I tell my wife that I want our new child to have a DNA test to see if I’m the father without making it look like I’m accusing her of cheating?
A: First off… Telling her that IS accusing her of cheating. I understand your concern and I know from experience how tough it is to find out later that the child isn’t yours. (My husband’s oldest daughter isn’t his biologically… he didn’t find out for sure till she was 6.. now he is paying child support on a kid that is not his… that he is not allowed to see… and there is not a thing he can do about it). If this is a concern then it is something you need to deal with now. Just understand no woman in her right mind hearing you ask for a DNA test is going to think anything other than that you are accusing her of cheating. It is going to be a hard conversation and it is going to cause hard feelings if it comes back that the baby is yours. At the end of the day you need to decide how much possibility there is that the child isn’t yours.